Allegories or Such

Muffin

August 15, 2012    This is a collection of some tidbits I’ve written in the past. I didn’t think they’d work as standalone blog posts, but I wanted to share them. So, here you have it. Enjoy. The Muffin I saw a box on the side of the road. So, naturally I stopped to check it out, assuming it contained a muffin. I looked inside, saw no muffin. But I’m sure there was one. It was probably just invisible. “Can you hear me, muffin?” I asked. It didn’t reply,....    Read more »

I Want a Stalker

Pee Wee Stalking Me

July 2, 2012    The Internet has corrupted and destroyed much. Perhaps the most unfortunate consequence of our information superhighway is the loss of a once great art form. I’m of course referring to stalking. In the days of old, being a stalker meant something. It took patience, skills and sometimes lock-picking. That was a time when privacy was a thing, something new generations who are born with a Facebook account will never know. Now anyone and everyone is a stalker. The definition has become loose, and the mere....    Read more »

May Search History Poem

Home Alone Ice Cream

May 30, 2012    With May coming to an end, I’ve decided to recount it through poetry. This poem was crafted using only queries from my search history (via Google) for the month of May. Enjoy. May Googles timeology mayan calendar infinity symbol valentine’s day massacre raw file system mr sean bean brickbeards bounty joe pesci ice cream luis guzman and john leguziamo all but my life michael crichton micro coming soon billboards funny diseases pobrecita possessive mine and someone else’s lame twitter profile topanga blacktags is golan a....    Read more »

The Hornbuckle House (Part 3)

Hornbuckle House

May 7, 2012    Continued from Part One and Part Two “Touch it,” Mark said. The body on the floor looked smaller to Logan than the frightening Mr. Hornbuckle had when he was alive. Logan remembered when he first met the old man. It was at the supermarket a few years back. Logan’s mother let him pick out something sweet while she was buying groceries. “Go find something good and hurry back,” she had said. Logan enthusiastically ran off, quickly making his way to the cookie isle. As he....    Read more »

The Hornbuckle House (Part 2)

Hornbuckle House

April 29, 2012    Continued from Part One The boys made their way to the house, carefully ducking behind fence and trees along the way. Mark was the first to arrive, touching the side of the house in victory. He turned back and waved the others over. David, Drew, AJ and Logan joined him at the southeast corner of Mr. Hornbuckle’s home. The house had light blue aluminum siding that had long been in need of a new coat of paint. It was propped up by a cobblestone foundation.....    Read more »

The Hornbuckle House (Part 1)

Hornbuckle House

April 25, 2012    Logan was playing with a football out in the street with his friends. It was the middle of summer. They had nowhere else to be. Summer afforded them that opportunity. Throwing the football around was not the enjoyable part, though. It was simply an excuse for them to all come together, to hang out as friends without any cares in the world. That was what Logan enjoyed, and at this moment it was a football that brought them together in the street to do just....    Read more »

Draw Something Strategies (and a Cheat)

Helmet - Draw Something

April 2, 2012    Like all of you, I’ve been playing Draw Something constantly. Even though Dan Porter is a jerk, it’s a good social game. I’m sure Zynga will find a way to manipulate the fun out of it, though. Until then, I’ll keep playing, and here are some strategies that might help you with it. Colors! Colors are your best friend. When you first begin, you won’t have that much variety. You need to get green as soon as possible! I suggest the Mardi Gras pack, so....    Read more »

5 Ways to Keep from Feeling Lonely

Hugging Nobody

March 19, 2012    There are 7 billion people on this planet, and not a single one of them is thinking about you right now. You’re alone. And that can be depressing. And if you ever tell someone that you feel lonely, they’ll advise you to go out and meet people, completely ignoring the fact that they’re a person and could therefore help you. “Go out and meet people” is a polite way to say, “I don’t have time for you, but maybe you could find some loser to....    Read more »

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